As I sit yet again at another cardiologist appointment, I’m a bit exhausted with the process. It’s been 6 months since I began having heart issues. In October 2021 my heart suddenly stopped beating briefly 6-8 times every single minute. After my heart pauses, that next beat was so hard that it took my breath…
Hey there! It’s been a long time and I’ve missed sharing my heart and the revelations with you. I decided to start writing again because what I just experienced is something I needed to share so here I am and I’m happy to be back. I’m literally in tears right now and in awe of…
I was listening to this song by Chandler Moore called “It’s okay” and I had already been feeling depressed and beat mentally from a long day. The lyrics is exactly what I needed. I was sitting alone in my room, the girls were already asleep and I was thinking about how badly I would like…
Since the anniversary date of Jimmy’s passing which was October 19th, I haven’t really been motivated to do anything. I haven’t been sleeping well and my anxiety is on 1000% along with fatigue and migraines. I work hard and get little rest but usually I’m still amped about working my online stores and my writing…
I was recently asked in a podcast interview “What makes me smile?”. I answered by saying that waking up makes me smile for many reasons but there are other reasons that would have made that conversation very long. My children brighten up my life every day but that’s a given. One thing most people don’t…
It’s been three years since Jimmy passed away and I’ve noticed a pattern. It always starts a few days before October hits. Out of nowhere I’m crying uncontrollably and it doesn’t matter where I am or who’s around. I just can’t hold back my tears. I lose focus, motivation, and I am burdened by complete…
My morning routine is the same every day but today was different. I woke up, did my hygiene thing and made my coffee. I always sit on a certain part of my couch that’s closest to the window so I can enjoy my coffee and look out the window taking in the freshness of the…
I got up today and put on a fresh face with mascara and eyeliner only. I don’t wear much makeup on a normal day. I get me and the girls out the door and on to the freeway so I can get to work. As I’m driving on the freeway, I see some cars pulled…
Time… It’s so precious! Be aware of what and who is occupying your time. You can never get it back. As I sat down to put my focus on something extremely important to me and my purpose this weekend, suddenly everybody and everything came to throw me off course. I received random text messages and…
There’s this popular phrase this new generation says and it’s kind of catchy. “I’m Lit” seems to be the new phrase for attending a hype party or for someone who is feeling themselves. It has many meanings but lately when I hear those words it makes me think of being on “Fire” for God. It…
Whenever I see people going through hard times I naturally try to encourage them. This time it’s been challenging. Right now we are all in the midst of uncertainty with everything that is happening in our world. People are panicking out of fear and the unknown. They are trying to prepare for the worst. I…
A tough subject to talk about let alone think about. It hurts and brings a level of disappointment that can last a lifetime. As I reflect often on the times I’ve felt rejected in my life, the affects have been detrimental to most of my relationships and my responses to opportunities that have come and…
As the shock began to wear off and the reality set in that I was now alone, I realized that every single thing was left up to me. The scary thing was that I somehow felt “unprotected”. I felt open and vulnerable to any and everything because I no longer had a covering or a…
It’s no shock that some people heal faster than others. Individuals respond to things differently, but everyone doesn’t have the understanding to consider this important fact when they see other people experiencing the pain of death, trials, and other hardships. My situation was no different. I can’t even begin to tell you the horrible things…
There are two words that dropped in my spirit at the beginning of 2018 as I cried out to God desperate not to feel the pain I was in. Til this day, those words have yet to leave me. “Faithful Heart” has become something that I meditate on daily. Usually when something comes to me…
Waking up on a Saturday morning to little hands tugging at my comforter and sweet voices calling me “Mommy” is my normal now. I’m exhausted and mentally drained from working all week and I would like nothing more than to just sleep in without interruption, but I’m the only one here to tend to these…
Peculiar Butterfly 