I’m going to be vulnerable and transparent as I write this because I know there are other women like me. Women who need the reassurance of knowing that they are not alone. This post is for the many widows out there waiting for “what’s next”. You may be having a hard time putting your life back together again because you are literally starting over. You may be struggling to balance life with children now that you’re left to do it alone. Whatever the case may be, know that it is totally understandable and please don’t be too hard on yourself. The loss of a husband can mean the loss of many things internally if you’re not careful. You didn’t just lose a companion, but in the process of losing him, you can also lose yourself. You are not alone. I was there…waiting! Then suddenly, one day, after you’ve allowed yourself to heal, you start feeling a desire to date again. The desire to have a companion.
Today, I’m finding that being single, Christian, and widowed with children is a totally different ball field. It’s honestly like being a needle in one of the largest haystacks ever (laughing but serious). I worry! I worry that I won’t find love again, let alone anyone who is willing to accept me AND my children. I worry that I will just be alone for the rest of my life. I worry about putting my girls in the wrong hands more than anything else. All of these things come to mind but then I remember that the enemy is a bold faced liar. Don’t believe the negative feelings and thoughts. Say the opposite “out loud” to override the negative.
It can be a lot to consider when it comes to dating and I know I’m not alone in this. I think I’m a good woman, shoot let me rephrase that… “I KNOW I’m a good woman”. There’s just so much more to me that I’m bringing to the table. With me comes two beautiful little girls and a whole lot more. Yet, I still struggle with the unknown.
To the widow who is waiting, I encourage you to never lose sight of who YOU are. I encourage you to dig deep within yourself and re-ignite that passion that once made you jump out of bed in the morning. See, there’s a whole world of opportunities out there. RUN AFTER THEM!! Love your life in its entirety, because trust me, the man who is looking for you is going to be attracted to your zeal for life, your passion, and your purpose. He’ll be attracted to you physically too, let’s be honest. Take care of yourself. It’s okay to desire companionship but don’t let the desire discourage you and keep you from living. You have one life here on earth. Pick your head up Sis, and live again.
I choose to “live” because grief had me paralyzed. I was no good to anyone. I had to get out and see people, go to work, play outside with my girls, and do things I always loved to do. You can do it too! Waiting may get a little discouraging sometimes but if you’re living and enjoying your life, that discouragement won’t last long.
“Delight yourself in the LORD, And He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart.”
Psalms 37:4 💕