A tough subject to talk about let alone think about. It hurts and brings a level of disappointment that can last a lifetime. As I reflect often on the times I’ve felt rejected in my life, the affects have been detrimental to most of my relationships and my responses to opportunities that have come and gone.
Friendships. I’ve been betrayed in the worst way by some of the people I’ve loved and called “Friend”. There was a time in high school when some of the people I called “Friend” were trying to jump me after school on several occasions. That experience left me feeling so rejected that I went into a deep depression. I was so confused. Those deep scars followed me through the years. I attempted suicide at 17 years old. I just didn’t want to live anymore but I survived. Some of the people I thought would be in my life forever are now nonexistent. So if I call you “Friend” today, it means that I see something in you that makes me believe that you would be there if I ever needed you…and I would definitely be there to reciprocate it.
Love. One hard truth I’ve had to deal with over the years is that people can only love you the way they were taught to or how they experienced it for themselves. We expect people to love us in ways they just can’t. I love hard!! I don’t give up, and I’ve always expected my romantic relationships to reciprocate it but they often left me feeling rejected, hurt, and unwanted. It made me question if anyone wanted to love me at all. The tough reality I had to face is that the rejection I experienced early on has caused me to push some really good men away because I thought I wasn’t “Good Enough” for them. It really put a damper on how I viewed myself.
Rejection causes depression. It also makes you so fearful of taking risks that you settle for safe choices, protecting yourself from having to deal with being rejected AGAIN! It comes in many forms including unrealistic expectations. Have you experienced rejection? When did it begin and why? I would encourage you to find the root cause of it and pluck that root out. Understand that the people who rejected you probably experienced rejection themselves, and the only way they knew how to deal with it, is to hurt others. Some do it unknowingly, so forgive them and free yourself to move on. The places that rejected you could have been a blessing in disguise because, well, look where you are now! I’m sure something better came along. Rejection isn’t always a bad thing. God is protecting us even when it doesn’t feel good.
You deserve love! You deserve great relationships! Yes, YOU deserve it! But first you must identify the root causes of your rejection and deal with it so that you can openly receive the good that’s coming your way, instead of pushing it away. Override the negative “I don’t” with “I do” or “I can’t” with “I can”. Make it a practice you repeat until you are no longer fighting those negative thoughts. You owe it to yourself!
I only scratched the surface of my story. There’s so much more. Tell me your story. Sharing your story is part of the healing process. Contact me below.
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