Since the anniversary date of Jimmy’s passing which was October 19th, I haven’t really been motivated to do anything. I haven’t been sleeping well and my anxiety is on 1000% along with fatigue and migraines. I work hard and get little rest but usually I’m still amped about working my online stores and my writing projects, but not the past two weeks. I’m thrown off. My 4 year old said to me “Mommy don’t work so hard” I asked her why she said that and she said “Because you work so much and your head hurts right here” (she points to her forehead). I Pause!! You mean this precious baby is paying attention to the reasons why her mommy gets migraines?! Hold up! I need a minute to digest this. It’s okay for my girls to see mommy working hard but not okay for them to see me doing it in an unhealthy way. This must be God speaking through her beautiful voice and I’m listening.

My mind is always racing and coming up with the next thing. So much that I’m overworking myself. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the busyness of life that we fail to stop and appreciate the small things like good health, peace, and the love that surrounds us daily. As I lay in bed reading last night this one scripture came to me that made me reevaluate everything.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
—John 15:5

You can read that over and over and still not grasp the depth of it. The keyword is “remain”. Being busy is great when you’re productive but when you lose sight of who you’re connected to (the vine), you’ll get weary and the work becomes just a routine. You can only bear fruit when you’re being fed the right nutrition so that fruit can grow to its full maturity. To remain in God you must remain consistent in communication and spending time with Him. Saturate yourself in the word and invite His presence in. I’m a worshipper at heart so I’m very intentional about setting the atmosphere.

If you’re like me and feeling overworked, tired, and losing your motivation, maybe you’ve disconnected from your vine, your life source. The weight of grief takes me away for a moment but I’m glad that my sensitivity to the Holy Spirit pulls me back in. Be gentle with yourself and take the time to reset. Get back to the basics! Take a break and get reconnected and aligned to God’s will for your life. He’s waiting!

Song recommendation: “Drench my heart” by Jonathan Nelson https://youtu.be/LJXHk-eBIGM

Thank you for spending time with me and I pray your week is abundantly blessed.

Sheneka L. Terry aka Peculiar Butterfly 🦋

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